


After Rose and Release

by Cutter



Category: Utena
Genre: Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-03-16
Updated: 2002-03-17
Packaged: 2013-05-09 06:28:16
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,357
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/661016/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/172035/Cutter
Summary: [Edited 92202] A look at Utena immediately after the last time we see her in the television series. Complete!





	1. One Million Thorns

NOTE 9/22/2002: This chapter has been edited! Yay! (Changes may not appear huge, but Cutter is still happy with them.)  
  
--------  
  
Hi all!  
  
I think I have finally managed to approach through writing something that's been in my mind for the two years since I first saw Utena. I hope you enjoy it, and that you find something in it of value.  
  
Basically, the heart of this story is a question--what happens to Utena immediately after the last time we see her in the series?  
  
This is a story of four chapters (all of which are now finished. Whee!).  
  
Notes: This fic contains SPOILERS for everything in Utena that could possibly be worth spoiling. It will make no sense if you haven't seen the entire TV series. You should be able to get by just fine without the movie, although there is one image at the end of the third chapter that will (assuming I did any sort of justice to the image) have more meaning if you have seen the movie. Also, half or more of the lines in _//slashes//_--which indicate stuff running through Utena's mind--are lines of dialogue from the series, so that's why they sound familiar. ^_~  
  
Warnings: If you've watched Shoujo Kakumei Utena and liked it, I honestly can't imagine anything you'd actually need "warning" for. There's nothing I can do that's more disturbing than what Saito Chiho and Be-Papas have already done. [sweatdrop]  
  
Disclaimers: I am not Saito Chiho. Or the Be-Papas. And that's probably for the best.  
  
Credits: There are many. Thus, they are to be found at the bottom of the page.  
  
And now, for our feature presentation:  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**The After [Rose and Release]**  
  
Chapter 1: One Million Thorns  
  
  
  
  
_//Himemiya. . .//_  
  
The first thing I am aware of is anguish.  
  
The second is cold.  
  
_//Himemiya. . . .//_  
  
Himemiya. . . .  
  
Oh, God.  
  
Oh, God. I never knew. How you. . . .  
  
_//Himemiya!//_  
  
Swords. The swords of the world. I never knew. I swear I never knew.  
  
_//An. . .thy. . . .//_  
  
Never knew how it felt to be pierced, invaded. It's a funny kind of hurt--something so cold, flat, foreign. And the very first time I felt that way was you.  
  
_//Pierced, invaded. . .violated//_  
  
And the gesture was almost intimate, even as I felt ripped apart and my insides clenched and you caressed me as you stepped away.  
  
_//Like you were violated//_  
  
I couldn't believe it.   
  
_//Like you were violated//_  
  
So much pain. . . . I never knew. I should've known. I. . .didn't recognize your pain. I didn't realize you were suffering.  
  
_//Like you were violated//_  
  
And now. . .here.  
  
Here.  
  
I am the only one here.   
  
Himemiya. . .I don't know how you lived through it. When I saw you with--with _him_--I thought you had betrayed me. I'm sorry, Himemiya--so sorry--in the end I wasn't your Prince at all. I was only. . .a girl, I guess.   
  
So disgusting.  
  
The swords clench around me.  
  
_//And her suffering was all that remained.//_  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
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    -,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs '-==.\}/
    

  
  
  
  
  
_//Her suffering was all that remained.//_  
  
I don't know how you lived, because this has just started and already I can't even scream anymore--the Million Swords, he called them. "The Million Swords that shine with the hatred of the people."  
  
_//Drawing the Swords from the Prince to herself.//_  
  
All of them are invading me now, and the only thing I can be grateful for is that you are not here. At least it is not you, with these swords, this time. With this pain.  
  
It hurts. . .the pain is crazing across all of my nerves, over every inch of my body, into every corner of my mind. So much of it, a hurt that my mind can't even describe to itself. Even the tips of my fingers twitching and spasming with it, but this is an agony that holds me in place--fixed, immobilized by what must be a million meters of cold steel running through me, pinning me so inescapably that I can't even convulse.  
  
And freezing, freezing cold.  
  
I can't remember what it was like before this pain.  
  
_//That is the destiny of the Rose Bride.//_  
  
I want to vomit.  
  
Instead, I gasp, and whimper, and focus on breathing. It takes so much concentration, just breathing. . .yet you were in front of me, talking, laughing, breathing with me all that time. You never choked. You were there when I was just a child--that time--in the church--  
  
My eyes widen. The swords do not like this. They stab deeper.  
  
_//That is the destiny of--//_  
  
No.   
  
NO.  
  
The swords, they're whispering to me now--no, that's not right, they always have been--  
  
_//--witch witch witch--//_  
  
Just now, I had something, I know it was important, if only I could remember. . . .  
  
_//--witchwitchwitchwitchwitchwitch--//_  
  
The church. You were there. These swords, the swords of the world's hatred for you. They bound you even then. They were with you then. They were with you before I met you. You carried this pain the whole time.  
  
_//--the Rose Bride. . . .//_  
  
How did you survive?  
  
Why didn't you hate me for it?  
  
I'm the one who was unfair, dirty. . . .  
  
_Himemiya!_  
  
I'm the one who was only a girl. . . .  
  
I'm the one who betrayed you. . . .  
  
_//Anthy wished for it all herself.//_  
  
No. . .wait.  
  
_//Anthy wished for it all herself.//_  
  
Wait. . . .  
  
_//Anthy wished for it all herself.//_  
  
Wait.  
  
_//Anthy wished for it all herself.//_  
  
_WAIT!_  
  
She said something. What was it?  
  
I can't remember.  
  
The swords are whispering, but I don't listen. No dreaming now--what did she say?  
  
"I'm sorry, Utena-sama. My suffering is my rightful punishment as the Rose Bride."  
  
_//Himemiya. . . .//_  
  
But that's. . . .  
  
_//Hime. . .miya. . . .//_  
  
But that's--  
  
That's wrong.  
  
_//Girls are all like the Rose Bride in the end.//_  
  
That's _wrong_.  
  
_HIMEMIYA!_  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
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    \/_/__\ .--='/~\
    ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
    -,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
    /_/ |\\
    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And that's a wrap for Chapter 1.  
  
Let me know how you liked it? Harsh criticisms are enthusiastically welcomed. Oh, and read the credits while you're here:  
  
CREDITS. I took whatever episode translations I couldn't remember for myself from The Utena Encyclopedia (http://www.duellists.tj/). The fact that I also relied on memory accounts for any discrepancies with that text. The flower pictures I use as dividers are done by Joan Stark (hence the initials), whose ASCII artwork can be found at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/ . And, miraculously, that's all for this chapter. Oh, yes. In later chapters there will be more.  
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
~~Cutter 


	2. No Rose of Such Virtue

NOTE 9/22/2002: This chapter has been edited! Yay! (Changes may not appear huge, but Cutter is still happy with them.)  
  
--------  
  
And here's Chapter Two, with a little more action.  
  
All notes, warnings, disclaimers, etc. from Chapter One apply.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**After [Rose and Release]**  
  
Chapter Two: No Rose of Such Virtue  
  
  
  
  
The scream tears from my throat--your name, of course, all I have ever screamed is your name--and for a moment it is as if I have gone deaf.  
  
No, that's not right; it's as if I am hearing the loudest sound I have ever heard. The loudest sound in the universe.  
  
What is it. . .?  
  
There's never been anything like it. It's. . . .  
  
And then I know.  
  
The swords have stopped whispering.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
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    |\\ \/_/
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    ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
    -,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs '-==.\}/
    

  
  
  
  
  
And suddenly, it all comes together. There's a flash--the glint off of steel as all of the Million all turn, at once, within my body. This is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life.  
  
But that doesn't matter now, because somehow I know that everything has snapped into place. All the swords are positioned so that I can see their handles, really see all of them, and it is if I am truly seeing the weapons, each weapon, all weapons, for the first time. Clarity. If I open my eyes now--really _open_ them--I will be able to see everything in the universe.  
  
I look at the handle of the first sword I my eyes come across.  
  
_Amitié_.  
  
There it is, printed in bold, clear letters.  
  
_Amitié_.  
  
The swords have names.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
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    |\\ \/_/
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    -,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs '-==.\}/
    

  
  
  
  
  
Of course.  
  
What does this mean? If my eyes stay open, I will understand. Even if the letters are foreign, the words unspeakable. _Amitié_--  
  
_Friendship._  
  
_//If something ever bothers you, come to me first. That's the kind of friends I want us to be.//_  
  
Friendship shouldn't be something that hurts me.  
  
The first sword is friendship. What does that mean? If my eyes stay open, I will understand.  
  
The first sword. . . .  
  
But that doesn't make any sense. The first sword was protection--Himemiya was attacked for protecting the Rose Prince. Or maybe it was her love for the Rose Prince, or her jealousy of all the princesses of the world. Himemiya doesn't have any friends.  
  
_//I know, except for you, Chuchu.//_  
  
_. . .and me_.  
  
Friendship.  
  
_//That's insane! I'm not about to fight a duel for no reason. Yesterday, I only fought for my friend, Wakaba.//_  
  
The first sword is friendship. . .well, I suppose friendship was the first thing _I_ fought for. . . . And then, with Himemiya, I guess I thought that I wanted our friendship to come first. . .but that means. . . .  
  
That means. . .  
  
. . .that means. . .  
  
_These aren't Himemiya's swords._  
  
They're mine.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
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    | \ \/_/
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    \/_/__\ .--='/~\
    ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
    -,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
    /_/ |\\
    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
What does this mean?  
  
I have to keep my eyes open.   
  
Why shouldn't they be the same? Are the Million Swords different because they're aimed at me? Does the world hate me, too, then? Is the hate the world has for me different than the hate the world has for Himemiya?  
  
I make the excruciating effort it takes to look down, and I see that I am bleeding.  
  
Got to. . .keep my eyes open. . . .  
  
Is the hatred of others so different? The hatred other people have for me? For her?  
  
_//Anthy wished it all for herself.//_  
  
I. . . .  
  
I understand.  
  
It wasn't ever the world's hatred, Himemiya. It was yours. It was yours all along.  
  
Instead of hating the Prince, instead of taking up your sword and stabbing back at the world.  
  
Instead, you hated yourself all along.  
  
Even though. . .even though I. . . .  
  
_//Don't look so miserable. You've tried so hard until now, you needn't blame yourself.//_   
  
All right. If these are my swords, then I can do anything I want with them. I can see them for what they are.  
  
I look at the names around me.   
  
_Amitié. Choix. Raison. Amour. Adoration. Conviction. Soi._ Friendship, Choice, Reason, Love, Adoration, Conviction, Self.  
  
It's as if I hear a voice--no. It's as if I hear many voices--  
  
"You have already won these duels."  
  
What?  
  
Yes, I understand. It's. . .my friends.  
  
I lift my hands--it's slow, torturous, like a thousand stabs of pain with every movement--and grasp the handle of the first sword, of _Amitié_.  
  
"Utena, you've already won this duel."  
  
Wakaba's voice.  
  
Already won? If I've already won, then--these are my swords. I can do anything I want with them. I don't have to use them to hurt myself. I have already won.  
  
I pull.  
  
The sword comes out.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
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    | \ \/_/
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    \/_/__\ .--='/~\
    ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
    -,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
    /_/ |\\
    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So. That's Chapter Two. ^_^  
  
CREDITS: The same as last chapter.  
  
Comments or reviews, anyone? Criticize me and help me become a better author!  
  
~~Cutter 


	3. Rose and Release

NOTE 9/22/2002: This chapter has been edited! Yay! (Changes may not be very large, but Cutter is happy with them.)  
  
NEW CREDIT IN EDITED VERSION: I was looking for scans in the _Utena Art Collection_ artbook, and discovered that there are French words associated with all the Black Rose Duellists (except Mikage) in the production art. Which in my mind is as good as naming the duels. So I put 'em in in place of what I had before for the B.R. names. Except I corrected the French. [sweatdrop] (So I suppose you could call my names a riff on the production names. . .?) At any rate, they're everything from _Aliénation_ to _Dépendance_. ---------------------   
  
Chapter Three.  
  
(And thanks to VenusAngel and Dee-chan for the reviews! Yay! ^_^)  
  
NOTE: If you haven't seen the movie, the final visual image of this chapter may not make much sense. But don't worry--you can get the chapter without it.  
  
Also, it occurs to me to mention that the ending song to the last episode is called "Rose and Release" (at least, _I've_ heard it called that. . .).  
  
All notes, warnings, disclaimers, etc. from Chapter One apply.  
  
I hope to have Chapter Four (the final chapter) out tonight. But in the meantime, please take a look at the credits for this chapter--they've changed. ^_^ Enjoy!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**After [Rose and Release]**  
  
Chapter Three: Rose and Release  
  
  
  
  
Wrongness. That's what this feeling is.  
  
Not even agony. Not even horror. Just. . .wrongness.  
  
After the first sword, it is as if my body has finally realized how unnatural this is, and is clamoring to be free of all this metal, these foreign objects. _Soon_, I tell it, _soon_. _I will pull out everything that is violating._  
  
Wakaba. . .thank you. _Amitié_ is a sword that can defend me.  
  
I grasp _Choix_.  
  
"You have already won this duel." --Saionji's voice. Thank you, Saionji. I know you wanted to help me out of the coffin.  
  
I pull.  
  
_Raison_.   
  
"You've already won, Tenjou-sempai." --Miki's voice.  
  
Thank you. Pull.  
  
_Amour_.  
  
"Tenjou Utena. You have already won this duel." --Juri.  
  
Thank you.  
  
_Adoration_.  
  
"You've already won this duel." --Nanami.  
  
Thank you.  
  
_Conviction_.  
  
"Tenjou-kun. That may have been my battle, but now you have won." --Touga.  
  
Thank you.  
  
_Soi_.  
  
". . .that's right. This duel. . .I've already won this duel."  
  
My voice.  
  
It's true. I have. I've stayed true to myself. All these things are things I've already overcome.  
  
Seven swords are not very many out of a million. I know that. Seven swords are like seven stars in the whole sky.   
  
_//To tell you the truth, I have absolutely no interest in stars.//_  
  
But.  
  
Somehow, I feel better.  
  
It may take the rest of my life, but--all I have to do is pull.  
  
I reach for another sword.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
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    | \ \/_/
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    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
    /_/ |\\
    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
_Aliénation. Attache. Jalousie. Impatience._  
  
Here there is no time.  
  
I think it may be a hundred years, a thousand that I have been here. I don't know how many swords I have pulled; I only know I've pulled many, and that there are many more.  
  
They all have names; some I remember and some I forget as soon as I have discarded them. Some of them, I think, were duels fought in the Arena. Some were things fought in other ways. They are all things I've battled, things I've experienced, things about growing up.  
  
_Limite, Dépendance, Vérité._  
  
Growing up, huh?  
  
_Affection, Mémoire, Innocence, Maturité, Passion, Indépendance._ One by one, swords leave my hands and plummet down to whatever lays below. Thousands of swords. I don't look.   
  
I never hear them hit the ground, though.  
  
_Éternité. Détermination, Dévotion, Altruisme._  
  
Growing up. . . .  
  
_Générosité. Liberté._  
  
Maybe adolescence is the real apocalypse.  
  
_Famille._   
  
I can move my arms freely now.  
  
_Rédemption. Chivalerie._  
  
Only a few more--  
  
_//You can't do it. You're a girl, aren't you?//_   
  
_Féminité._  
  
Girl. . . .  
  
_//You should stay a girl.//_  
  
_Féminité_ is a sword long in the pulling.  
  
_Sexe._  
  
And suddenly, I am falling while staying suspended in midair, looking out over this wreckage that has been my home for ten eternities. I close my eyes to fight off the vertigo, so that I won't throw up.  
  
When I finally open them, there is only one sword left.  
  
_Révolution._  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
    '`/ `'
    (( ( /( )
    . \) .
    / ' \\
    // ' ' \\
    ..---------(\'~ ~'/)---------..
    { /----------\) (/----------\ }
    \| \)( /\ )(/ |/
    \)\ \/ /(/
    ' \ / '
    / \
    / \
    { }
    \ / /
    \ / /
    '( /
    / \ \
    / / \ \
    / / \ \
    / / \ \
    / / \ \
    | | | |
    \_\ /_/
    ' '
      
      
    c
    

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And there you are.   
  
CREDITS. I took whatever episode translations I couldn't remember for myself from The Utena Encyclopedia. The fact that I also relied on memory accounts for any discrepancies with that text. The FLOWER pictures I use as dividers are done by Joan Stark (hence the initials), whose ASCII artwork can be found at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/. *The versions on this page are her originals.* However, the closing picture of Utena is MINE. As in, I made it, as in, it belongs to me, as in, that little "c" isn't a mistake, it's my initial. ^_^; Not that I'm possessive or anything. Oh, and down at the bottom of this page, I irresponsibly malign a bit of John Keats. Finally, about two-thirds (at a guess; possibly more) of the names for the swords I got from the now-disappeared Tensai no Miko's Fanfic Page, where TnM had a list of possible names she came up with for the other 13 duels (only the first 7 and the final out of the 20-odd duels Utena fought are named in the series). I didn't necessarily agree with every duel name she had up, but I used I think all but one, as they really are quite good.   
  
Any sword names you *don't* find on TnM's page I made up myself, using my half-forgotten French. I tried to select words that would be understandable even to readers with no French, but I may have failed in that endeavor--if so, email me and I will post a list of translations.  
  
And now that I'm done babbling. . .feedback? I love all kinds, even hate mail. In particular, I'm interested to know what people thought of the closing image. Effective? Off-putting? Too esoteric? My ears are open like a greedy shark, to catch the tunings of a reviewer divine. . . .  
  
~~Cutter 


	4. From Today Forward, I am Your Flower

NOTE 9/22/2002: This final chapter has also been edited. ^_^ At this point I want to thank everyone who was kind enough to write a review for the story when it came out--I think all of you contributed to what went into this edit (which, again, might not seem huge. . .but in my mind it's definitely different). Special thanks to J. Random Lurker, who was probably the biggest bringer of change. ^_~ Though the direction I went with her emailed comments is such that all her original objections probably still stand. [sweatdrop]  
  
---------------------  
  
The fourth and final chapter. I hope it lives up to expectations, if there were any. ^_^  
  
(And many thanks to J. Random Lurker and Waku-chan for the reviews! Yay! ^_^)  
  
All notes, warnings, disclaimers, etc. from Chapter One apply.  
  
Oh, and the credits have changed once again. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**After [Rose and Release]**  
  
Chapter Four: From Today Forward, I am Your Flower  
  
  
  
  
My eyes are open again.   
  
But, it's not like before. Even though my eyes are open, I feel like I've lost track somehow. Like I blinked, or slept, and I missed something, and now I don't know how to get it back. . . .  
  
What am I seeing? I. . . .  
  
_//I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, do you know?//_  
  
What am I seeing?  
  
_Révolution_.  
  
Revolution.  
  
Revolution. . . .  
  
_//Fighting me isn't some play duel.//_  
  
Revolution. . .a duel called Revolution?  
  
_//Fool. In this world, there was never any such thing as a Prince in the first place.//_  
  
. . .that's right.  
  
I can't pull out this sword. I didn't win this duel.  
  
I was only a make-believe Prince.  
  
I was asleep the whole time.  
  
_//A sword isn't meant for a girl to wave around like that.//_  
  
He was right. Of course he was right. I didn't save Himemiya.  
  
I couldn't save her.  
  
But. . .no. I tried. I remember this--I don't have to worry about femininity, do I? Dios was a man. Akio was a man. But they didn't save her. . .they didn't even try to save her. They only hurt her. So maybe. . .so maybe it doesn't matter if you're a man or if you're girl.  
  
_//A sword isn't meant for a girl to wave around like that.//_  
  
A sword is something for a Prince, maybe, but all the Sword of Dios did was cut his Bride.  
  
A sword. . . .  
  
A sword to cut the Bride. . .a Million Swords to cut the Bride. . .a Million Swords of the Bride's hatred. . .a sword to cut the Bride. . .the Bride had a Million Swords. . .a sword is something for a Prince. . .a Prince to cut the Bride. . .the Bride had a Million Swords. . .she hated herself the whole time. . .a sword a Prince to cut the Bride. . . .  
  
My eyes widen. My eyes are all the way open now.  
  
The Prince _was_ a sword.  
  
He was the material she used to make _all_ her swords.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    _....,_
    _.-` '.
    _..._
    .' .-. '.
    ( ( o ) )
    `._'-'_.'
    ```
    jgs/c
    

  
  
  
  
  
Himemiya. . .I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.  
  
I should've tried to understand.  
  
I failed you. I didn't recognize your pain. I didn't see. I thought I could save you; I thought you were safe, with me, in our room, in our bed, and you. . . .  
  
You used the sword he gave you, and you made a million of them. So that you could love him, you made yourself a world where you hurt yourself more than he hurt you. You made a world where it was your fault. So that you did whatever he told you. So that you were safe. So that no matter what happened to your body, you wouldn't feel the pain.  
  
You made a world out of your own memories.  
  
_//I hate this room.//_  
  
In your mind, you were raped a million times.  
  
_//What sort of dreams have you been dreaming lately? I always dream of the castle.//_  
  
You made yourself a nightmare.  
  
You were asleep all this time.   
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
    _ / /|
    |\\ \/_/
    \_\| / __
    \/_/__\ .-=='/~\
    ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
    -,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs '-==.\}/
    

  
  
  
  
  
I didn't save you. I didn't try to help you wake up.  
  
_//When you were suffering so much. . .when I had said we should save each other. . . .//_  
  
I didn't save you.  
  
_//The only one who can save her is a prince she believes in.//_  
  
I didn't save you.  
  
_//When I had said we should save each other. . . .//_  
  
I didn't save my friend.  
  
. . .friend?   
  
That's right.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
    _ / /|
    |\\ \/_/
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    jgs '-==.\}/
    

  
  
  
  
  
The first sword is _Amitié_.  
  
_//You remind me of the Dios I once loved.//_  
  
I want--  
  
_//But you can't become my Prince. Because you're a girl.//_  
  
No. You were talking about yourself. _You_ were the one who thought girls couldn't be free. I've already pulled out the sword _Féminité_.  
  
I want--  
  
_//I didn't save you. ((you didn't believe in me))//_  
  
Shut up! Himemiya, I want--  
  
_//Thank you for giving me a small taste of what you call "friendship."//_  
  
I want to see Himemiya.   
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
    _ / |
    | \ \/_/
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    -,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
    /_/ |\\
    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
_//Where am I?//_  
  
_//Am I watching a dream. . . .?//_  
  
"It hasn't been that long since then, but everybody's forgotten about her completely. She didn't cause a Revolution after all."  
  
_//That's--Akio-san?!//_  
  
"Now that she's gone, she was just a dropout from this world. I've got to rebuild the Rose Signets from scratch. I'm counting on you, Anthy."  
  
_//Yes, they're in his office. . .I see them. . .I see Himemiya.//_  
  
"You don't know what happened, do you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's alright now. Please go on playing make-believe 'Prince' in this comfortable little coffin forever. But I must go."  
  
_//Does that mean. . .can that mean. . .//_  
  
"Go? To where?"  
  
"That person hasn't vanished. She's merely left your world."  
  
"What're you talking about?"  
  
"W-wait a minute! Anthy! . . .Anthy!!"  
  
"Farewell."  
  
_//. . .she woke up?//_  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
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    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
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    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
Himemiya. You're awake.  
  
Does that mean I didn't fail you?  
  
Does that mean you were saved?  
  
Dos that mean. . .you believed in me. . .?  
  
Can it be. . .that I helped you pull the sword out of your chest?  
  
_//When I had said we should save each other. . . .//_  
  
Can it be. . .all those times you pulled the dueling sword out of my chest. . .my dream. . . .  
  
Can we save each other?  
  
No--that's not quite it--not quite yet--  
  
Can we help each other save ourselves?  
  
_//"You don't know what happened, do you?"//_  
  
What did happen? If I open my eyes--really _open_ them--I can see the whole universe.   
  
That's what I need to see. Himemiya understood what happened. And now she is going.  
  
If I understand what happened to me, then I can go too.  
  
_//Someday, together. . . .//_  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
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    _ / |
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    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
If I understand.  
  
What am I here for?  
  
_//Instead of being a princess to be protected, I want to be a dashing prince.//_  
  
Is that it?  
  
_//She said she came to this academy to meet a prince she met when she was very young.//_  
  
Why did I come here?  
  
_//I'm your Prince. You came all this way to meet me.//_  
  
No. . .why did I come here?  
  
_//Who are you?//   
  
//I came to save you.//  
  
//But, you're a. . . .//  
  
//I came here to meet you.//_   
  
That's right.  
  
That's right.  
  
That's right! I came all this way to meet you. . .Himemiya.  
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    __
    _ / |
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    jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
    /_/ |\\
    \/
    

  
  
  
  
  
The first sword is Friendship. The last sword is Revolution.  
  
The power to revolutionize the world.  
  
_//I want to be your friend.//_  
  
I look down, and see the last sword, straight and true through my chest.  
  
If I understand, I can be free.  
  
_//Your eyes are just like those of those people who can't stop wanting to make memories last forever.//_   
  
With power, you can do anything.  
  
_//my own birth, absolute birth//_  
  
The power to bring the world revolution. . .  
  
. . .but the world is always in revolution.  
  
The world sees revolution every day.  
  
_//Your eyes are just like. . .you can't stop wanting. . .//_  
  
_To leave your world of memories for a world where you can make friends._  
  
So. . .time just has to start moving again, then.  
  
I put my hands around the hilt of _Révolution_.  
  
_//Himemiya. . .you don't know. . .how happy I was. . .just being together with you. . . .//_  
  
I smile.   
  
I won't be afraid of this world where we'll meet.  
  
"Utena-sama. . .you have already won this duel."  
  
Thank you.  
  
No matter where you are, I'll find you for sure. Himemiya.  
  
Anthy.  
  
And someday, together. . . .  
  
I pull.  
  
_Someday, we'll shine together._   
  
  
  
  
  

    
    
    .-.
    {{@}}
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And from there, I think I'm done.  
  
CREDITS. I took whatever episode translations I couldn't remember for myself from The Utena Encyclopedia (http://www.duellists.tj/). The fact that I also relied on memory accounts for any discrepancies with that text. The FLOWER pictures I use as dividers are done by Joan Stark (hence the initials), whose ASCII artwork can be found at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/. *The versions on this page are her originals.* However, both the EYE picture and the SWORD picture have been *adapted* by me from her images, therefore they are collaborative (notice the initials change). I swear, this woman is a goddess. Also, I would like to thank Jethro Tull and Dove chocolates for keeping me alive through the writing of this chapter. [sweatdrop] It was much harder than I'd predicted.   
  
And that's a wrap, folks. If any of you have any thoughts--positive or negative, constructive or deconstructive--I'd dearly love to hear them. Did I do the fic justice by its ending? Feedback, onegai. . . .  
  
Much love,  
  
~~Cutter  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cutter_tekka/  
http://geocities.com/cutter_tekka/cutterfics/ 


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